I’M PREGNANT!

The news is finally out — I’M PREGNANT! I am so excited to share this exciting time and I feel so incredibly lucky to be able to experience this feeling.

Before I go into more detail on our pregnancy journey, I wanted to say that for any of you who are trying to conceive or those who are struggling, I am praying for you. My heart goes out to you and your significant other and for anyone who has suffered the loss of a child, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

John and I have always wanted children. We have been together for 9 years and celebrated our third year of marriage in June. We have traveled to so many places over the years, we both have stable jobs we love and we just purchased our first home last fall. John had been asking when I think I’d want to start a family about a year ago, but getting settled into our new home was sort of the last thing on my list before I felt like I would be ready. I have a few close friends who have had kids recently and my nephew always gave me a little bit of baby fever, but I never ever felt rushed to start a family of my own. I knew John and I would make that decision when the time felt right, and that time happened for me at the beginning of this year.

Before going to the next step, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor just to let her know our plans and to make sure everything looked okay. I also downloaded an app on my phone called ‘Glow’ which lets you track your cycle. This app was very accurate for me and it also predicts your ovulation periods; this was also super helpful for my doctor and my future appointments.

On March 16th, I woke up to my first positive pregnancy test. I woke up feeling a little “off”. I was a few days late in starting my cycle, but I didn’t think there was any chance of me being pregnant just yet. I immediately ran out to show John and he was just as surprised. Yes, we know how babies are made (lol) but we weren’t expecting it to happen so soon! I was never in a big rush and I always told myself I’d give it about a year until we went to the next step. We were SO excited over the next few weeks and told our families and close friends almost immediately. I called my doctor’s office the next day to tell her the news, and she scheduled an appointment for me to come in to run some lab work a few weeks later.

On April 5th, just a few days before my scheduled appointment, I first noticed the bleeding; this is NOT a symptom you want to experience while pregnant. I also felt light headed a few days before, but just thought my body was going through some changes now that I was pregnant. Without going into much detail (because this post is meant to be about a NOW super exciting time), I guessed what was happening after the bleeding and sadly, I guessed right. I wanted to share this time with you all because I always want to be real and honest; this pregnancy journey has not been the easiest. We didn’t get pregnant the very first try, nor was my very first pregnancy a success. Women experience miscarriages daily and my heart goes out to those who are going through this or who have experienced one; I know how painful it is, physically and emotionally. I know the feeling of losing someone you have never seen or met. But I do believe everything happens for a reason and I trust the plan that is meant for John and I. My miscarriage occurred sometime between 6-8 weeks and was confirmed by bloodwork and a sonogram. “I’m so sorry Brooke, but I don’t see anything…” I will never forget that moment and I still think about it every single day. This experience was hands down the hardest thing I have ever gone through and nothing in the world prepares you for that moment. I grieved….a lot. Almost daily for a month or two. I wasn’t my usual positive self and it was all I could think about. I continued to pray about it daily and I knew God would give John and I a child when the timing was perfect.

I want to thank everyone who helped me in some way during that difficult time and I just want you all to know that your love and support meant the world to me.

The doctor told me to wait until my next full cycle to start trying again. She had no explanation as to why this could have happened based on my normal lab work and tests in the past. But she did tell me that it does happen randomly and is more common than women realize. I don’t think this topic is shared as much as it should be, because it IS common, even amongst the most healthy individuals. I knew John and I were healthy and that it just simply was not meant to be or the baby was not healthy. My doctor was very hopeful for us and told me to focus on the good, being that I was able to conceive. I know women struggle with infertility and as sad as I was about losing this baby I just started to feel connected to, I felt hopeful that I would be able to get pregnant again.

June 11th is and forever will be such a special day to me. Not only is it John and I’s wedding anniversary, but it is also the day I found out I was pregnant again! I was only one day late. I figured it would take some time for my cycle to become regular after what had occurred a few months back, but something just kept telling me to take a test. I was nervous and scared, but I prayed and couldn’t help but feel excited about the possibility. The test was positive, and so were the next two right after. I can’t explain what this moment was like. I cried the happiest tears of my life and prayed out loud that God would look after me and this baby. I asked that this baby would be healthy and as hard as it was, I also prayed that He would do what he felt was best for John and I.

I told John that evening after our anniversary dinner and as thrilled as we both were, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. I know John was too, but he was always so positive (much more than I) and he continued to tell me to think happy thoughts and that it would all be okay. We told both of our families the following weekend, on Father’s Day. “Brooke’s pregnant, again!” John yelled. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel more nervous than excited. Every restroom break was spent inspecting the toilet paper to make sure I wasn’t bleeding. Any cramp I felt, I thought the worst. But one morning about 7 weeks in, I woke up with a little nausea and I felt like the craziest person on earth when a huge wave of excitement came over me. I had been praying for a pregnancy sign/symptom and when the nausea continued every morning for a full month, it gave me reassurance that this time, it would be different.

We saw the first ultrasound at 8 weeks. I thought this was the most exciting part of the pregnancy but the moment I heard the heartbeat at 11 weeks, I cannot even describe how I felt. Tears of relief, so much happiness, but most of all, hope.

While my journey has had its ups and downs, I think this whole process has made me appreciate pregnancy so much more than I would have before. I feel so grateful and blessed to be given another chance of becoming a mom!

I started to officially show around 15-16 weeks and it has been a little difficult to hide the bump in certain pictures without giving anything away; angles are key! The uncertainty of pregnancy and my previous experience made me a little hesitant in sharing our journey at the beginning but after hearing baby’s heartbeat, I felt more comfortable. I will be 18 weeks pregnant tomorrow and I am feeling so great. We will find out the gender at the end of this month and I have zero inclination on what he/she may be, we are just praying for a healthy baby! I am SO excited the news is out John and I cannot wait for our new addition to arrive next February. I will continue to share my pregnancy journey along the way and please feel free to reach out if you have any questions and/or tips!